N.F.H. and Boundaries
Do you have one of these? The kind that just can’t seem to mind their own, or let you have any peace… and worse yet they have no clue that what they’re doing is wrong or unacceptable. They don’t seem to, at any rate.
I grew up in an unpleasant neighborhood from age 11 up. My parents are still enduring the spot, in spite of an escalation from the yearly fireworks horrors to an actual shooting that went from the corner, across their property, to the house next door… leaving a trail of bullets in my father’s truck… and the front door… and one in an interior wall – thank God none IN anyone in their house. Just in the guy next door. All due respect to the family’s loss, but you can’t tell me he was standing around on his porch at 2am for any perfectly innocent reasons in that town and just happened to be the victim of a random passerby. I’m not talking through my hat either, because as it turned out he was being watched by detectives for a while. When we moved in there, that house was occupied by two elderly sisters that grew pretty roses and were really quiet. Their dog barked, but you can’t have everything. Since their passing, it’s been a parade of nightmares. People in and out, throwing trash, bottles, what have you in the gutter… then washing it from the front of their house into the front of my parent’s place. They tore down the vintage climbing roses too, by the way. Noise, intrusion, lack of consideration, and total weirdness is what it is. Children climbing on my dad’s truck. I’ve seen zoos that were in better behavior.
I’m having difficulty with understanding people with boundary issues. I can remember kids from across the street coming over and sitting on our front wall and grass… instead of their own or their friends places? We didn’t know any of them, or speak to any of them, and yet… there they were. We don’t know why. We finally started going out and watering the lawn to make our point. From then on we just kept it really wet out there so they wouldn’t even want to plop down in the first place. That may sound antisocial but there’s something seriously wrong with a person that doesn’t know they shouldn’t just trespass and ignore the resident. It would never have crossed my mind to do something like that, even when I was young.
Fast forward to the present, I’m in my own house. I have… a neighbor. Most of the time it’s tolerable, but in the middle of the night do I really have to hear firecrackers going off? For some reason they seem to think it’s a great tool for scaring off stray cats and dogs, and general entertainment. I’m not talking about teenagers either. These are grown people – older than me! They’ve been told over and over not to do this and yet, no consideration. Midnight. One in the morning. Whenever. Then there’s the actual owner, who happens to drive truck OTR and is gone most of the time. Unfortunately when he shows up, he’s not bright enough to consider the city street regulations and shows up with a load on – and it’s a refrigerated unit – and stays a night or two. This means I have to listen to the refrigeration running all day, all night, all day, all night. If you’ve never had to do this, you don’t have a concept of how dreary it becomes. He also kindly parks it in front of MY house more than half the time. I appreciate that. By the time he leaves I’m wanting to throw a few firecrackers at him myself.
You may wonder why I don’t just call the police, considering the truck isn’t allowed to be on this street like that. That’s the next problem. Corruption. After calling the local constabulary regarding a domestic violence situation across the street a couple of times, I found they were too stupid to know they shouldn’t park in front of MY house and walk up to MY front door. I ended up hissing at them through my security screen the last time it happened, “ACROSS THE STREET!” I ask you… if you call the police because you see a man beating a woman in his front window, do you really want him to know that you’re the one that got him arrested??? A number of such incidents have shown me that the PD around here doesn’t have the wits a piece of toast possesses about confidentiality. They will point you out, and even verbally tell people that you’re the one that complained about something. I would call them regarding the truck and other issues just to have them deal with it as is their job, thus avoiding a personal confrontation, but that’s not how it would go. I have to live here after all.
Ever try to go to the store with someone, or sit down to eat a meal with them, and their PTT goes off? I don’t even mean a signal and someone waiting for a reply. I just mean the unsolicited blurt of, “What are you doing?!?!“ I have a sum total of one person on mine, and for good reason. Boundaries. It’s a convenient feature, but I find that not everyone is responsible and circumspect about the people they add to their list. Even fewer think about what they’re doing when they key up. I think these are the same people that scream into their cell phones when they’re walking around grocery stores or sitting in restaurants. Honestly, I really don’t care if someone answers their phone during a meal as long as they speak low and don’t share with the entire café. FYI, your home phone has a speaker loop to the earpiece so you can hear your own voice when speaking. Your cell phone doesn’t. Please stop yelling, because you will never hear yourself through the speaker no matter how loud you get. Meanwhile, everyone now hates you and wants you to shut up, or possibly go play in the road out front. The person on the other end of the call hates you too. They hate you because they are now in pain. So are the rest of us. Our heads are ringing and we’re looking for a clock tower. Stop. They can hear you with a normal speaking tone, really I promise.