Things change in life for everyone. A true friend is someone that already knows about it when the rest of the world is just catching up and going, “Huh…? What happened?”, and asking silly questions that just don’t matter anymore. Some things remain constantly important. Others fall by the wayside. We make choices based on the most pressing of needs, and that is how we survive.
“Friend” is also a word that is tossed about too casually. I do not call every person I get to know a friend. I have many acquaintances and I have only a few Friends. When you spend real time conversing with people, even if it is online, in the wee hours… in the late night… in moments of sorrow… when joyful things come… and about the minutiae… you are able to sort out which are the friends and which are simply people that you know, and maybe like. Not everyone is well-matched, and not everyone is friend material. There’s nothing wrong with that. It just is.
I choose carefully because I cannot afford to throw my trust around to careless passers-by. I don’t have the energy to waste it on those that take, and take, rather than being reciprocal. I’ve known enough of those. Would you rather have someone honest in your life that calls you what you really are to them, or be lied to by someone that doesn’t have a deep affection as they imply? I believe that some people use the word “friend” casually because they are looking for an easy label. I would rather not deceive anyone for that convenience. If I have actually called you my friend, then with me you always know that it really means something. It means we do share some kind of common bond. You never have to wonder. I say what I mean.
As to changes… we all have them. No one is obligated to inform the world when they occur. I wouldn’t expect it from someone else, as I know I could be numbered amongst 500 people they talk to during the year. I’ve always hate hearing anyone say after some tragic circumstance is sorted out, “Oh, you should have told me!” They don’t consider that person really doesn’t need another reason to feel badly. A friend simply picks up where they left off and says that it’s nice to hear from you. Life is fluid, and complicated, and in motion at all times. Paths do not always converge. When they do, enjoy it. When they don’t, accept it.