The Best Bad News
Am I relieved? Sure, in a way. Am I sad, kind of. Am I scared? No, not really. Nothing has changed except that some person decided to get with the program. Sad, only a touch because you really always hope that some Dr. will walk in and say “Well, Ms. So and So, you have Blahblahblee and if you take this pill for a few days, it will all go away.” Not really hope, just a nice fantasy. Secretly though, we all wish that a Dr. would DISprove to us that we have something incurable and say something truly encouraging instead. Right now I just kind of wish I still had access to the rheumatologist that showed me the most that he cared about me for real, and spent so much time with me trying to get me back pieces of my life. Instead I have to navigate a half-assed system paid for by half-assed insurance, which altogether makes for one big complete ass, I think. Peachy.
Where is Dr. House when you need him?
Wouldn’t it be nice to actually hear, “It’s not Lupus… it’s never Lupus.” and get another diagnosis that’s just easier to manage? You know, one of those stupidly simple things that the team overlooks through a bunch of other failed treatments and then they all go Oooohhh DUH and fix it? Our choices seem to be Lupus or Mystery Disease. Yay. I can definitely accept Lupus better than Mystery Disease though.
Now that it’s in black and white, even if the current Primary isn’t on board, his opinion really doesn’t make any difference. I’m thinking of laminating this piece of paper for posterity.