Gramma Ava

 I miss my grandmother. This is the second Christmas without her and I still can’t seem to get past these “moments” when I see a photo, or think of some inside joke we had, or think of her saying with a little grin, “Love you, Sugar”… and the tears just explode. I’ve put up all the Christmas decorations I may have the energy for and the little frosted glass bells she gave me… they look so fragile in their box. I’m afraid to look for somewhere to hang them up. Maybe I’m protecting her memory and trying to hold close the things I have left. I know they’re not her. I know that I haven’t lost what she really gave me in life, no matter what happens. I just wish she were here now at this difficult time in my life. My health, my entire world is changing and beyond challenging. She was always there to talk to, even if all she could do was listen and pray. Now there is this empty silence where her smile and strength used to fill my heart. Crying should be cleansing. It just seems to make me ache.

Gramma… you’re in my mind, my heart, and all my aspirations. Thank you for the second chance at life that you gave me without reservation, and without expecting anything in return. It’s love.. free and unconditional, that you left with me.


About Tala

-Livestream Broadcaster - Active in Periscope & Busker -YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, & Facebook Pages Advocacy for better quality of life with catastrophic illness & injury. Conditions I live with myself are my awareness platform: rheumatic autoimmune & neurological, women's heart disease Traditional First Nations (Native American) -Training: Tai Ch'i Chuan, medical terminology, cultural Medicine -Avid about hiking, camping, & outdoor adventure Special Interests: Natural health, everything from East Indian to East Carolina cuisine, 16th Century German fencing Favorite Travel Spots: Yosemite, Catalina Island, E. North Carolina, Northern CA redwoods/coastal rainforest ~I live as naturally as I can, stay on a whole foods diet (as in what I eat, not as in "a diet"), avoid as many synthetic meds as I can, and do not consume artificial sweeteners and most preservatives. If you're curious about why, see my posts.~ Periscope/Twitter ID: Tala_NoExcuses

Posted on December 21, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Tala, your grandmother was obviously a very important part of your life and you will always have a piece of her with you forever. Those that leave too early hurt so many parts of you and there is nothing you can do than roll with it. I find that certain songs touch me deeply and the tears start. Your grandmother is watching over you and she is guarding you now. Remember the strength she gave you and live it!

    My children had 4 great-grandmothers when they were growing up. They slowly died off, one by one in the late 80s and 90s. Now their grandparents are all gone and my oldest daughter’s children have me as their only grandparent and my middle daughter;s son has me as their grandmother and Jack’s dad as a grandfather. I thought they were supposed to live longer than their ancestors. Guess not so we have to remember to treasure every day. People are here one day and gone the next. Keep them close.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: