What Did You Just Say???
We all know the expression, “I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.” For anyone with any level of decency about them, that is a genuine principle to uphold, and as an abuse survivor I think I am qualified to say that I have known individuals that could be wished harm. I don’t. What purpose does that serve? Is my own harm going to suddenly vanish because someone else paid some nebulous “price” that we can’t even legitimately tie in to retribution? Is it really acceptable to relish suffering, just because you don’t like something about someone?
I’m not just talking about evil people here. I don’t feel qualified to define between individuals and their level of deserving ill befallen. I could sidetrack to the legal system here and crime, but that isn’t where I’m headed.. so NO. There are two things bothering me, and neither of them have anything to do with criminal behavior. When I log in to Facebook lately, there are days that I just want to cringe. It’s not just there, mind you. Anywhere I go to read public input in posts has the potential for being an unpleasant enlightenment to what is inside the ugly minds of far too many. How did we end up here?
Topic 1 is about the Lupus community. We are supposed to be a support network for one another. We are the only ones that truly understand what we all go through living with this disease. I have talked before about it not being a competition – who is the sickest and most deserving of sympathy – but it goes beyond that. I am seeing a trend that is disturbing, and it is one where a sicker patient actually wishes harm on others so that they can better “understand” their plight. It’s bad enough when someone wishes that a healthy person could be sick, but to wish upon another Lupie that their disease were more advanced? Seriously? What did you just say??? Yes, I sure did read that. So those of us without major organ involvement are somehow privileged and should experience damage so that we can better sympathize with your personal nightmare. Got it. I mean I have a damaged heart. I can’t remember ever wishing anyone else could experience my difficulties with that – even for a day – so they could be educated about it or so they could be humbled or something. I don’t wish my discomfort or ailments on anyone. I am also not lacking in compassion from my support network for that or anything else. When did it become acceptable to turn on each other? I am seeing some elitist snobbery that I really dislike. FYI, anyone with Lupus in any form has the potential for eventually developing organ involvement and damage. It is the thing we pray for others NOT to experience. That is our appointed place to stand. Save your bitterness for conversations with your deity about how to manage it.
Topic 2 is the vitriol over the present uproar on marriage equality. I don’t have a lot to say about my opinions on it, because there is no point. I will say this one thing however, and it is because again I cannot stand the vitriol being spewed from all sides. Why is it considered acceptable to make hateful statements while arguing that it is not acceptable to hate? I have seen some of THE ugliest and most violent suggestions of what should happen to people, and no I am not about to repeat them here. This was not coming from the religious sect arguing that gay marriage is wrong, although I have seen that as well in scores. I am talking about those that are pro on the subject. No one will be swayed to accept you when you suggest that people should be violated and abused, or make threats on them. If you believe in yourself, your life, and your choices, and the individual that you are, then be a fine example of that and stop acting like a homicidal maniac. It’s not an attractive color on anyone, no matter what your orientation is. I have tried surfing conversations because I am open-minded and unbiased. I have left conversations feeling like I needed a shower because of the horrible things I read. No, I am not referring to lifestyle statements, as that doesn‘t concern or affect me. I am referring to remarks that are tantamount to an assault – from those defending their right to their rights.
I’ll take you seriously when you show me that you really are about peace and love. How you have been treated is no excuse either. I don’t cut any slack to my Native brothers and sisters either on that one. We are in 2013, and we are adults. We make our own choices about how we live, and what we believe, how we present ourselves in this world. If you really believe in karma, you won’t inflict hatred in any form, on anyone, for any reason. Show me.
One of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes: “I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.”
I have plenty of reasons to be mad. I am caught between worlds in many aspects in my life, and held in the prison of an uncooperative and sick body that I constantly battle and bargain with to have my moments of life that so many people take for granted without thought. I have survived being beaten and damaged by someone that was never punished for their crimes. I have survived other terrible things inflicted also by individuals that were never punished. I am multicultural and often rejected by both sides for not fitting a mold. I am possibly too liberal-minded in some areas to be a true conservative, and I really don’t like labels anyway. I’m not living where I really want to be, and unable to change it just yet. I have had support and health insurance ripped out of my life due to illegal actions and false accusations on an upstanding individual, with no assurance that a legal case can be made to fix it. I still don’t have health insurance and I am a fairly sick lady. Oh yes, and now I am required to have insurance so I guess I have to pull that money out of somewhere. *cough* Should I go on griping some more? Why? We all have baggage, damage, and burdens. And?
I can be changed by what happens to me, but I REFUSE to be reduced by it. My life experiences are a part of who I am. How I embrace and process them, and then act on them, is my choice. It’s yours too.
Posted on March 29, 2013, in General Blather, I Am That Wolf, Things That Make You Go... AAAaaaauuuggghhh!!! and tagged Autoimmune, Autoimmunity, Cardiomyopathy, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Equality, Fibromyalgia, Heart Disease, Lupie, Lupus, Lupus Awareness, Reinventing Yourself, SLE, Support groups, Systemic Lupus. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.